Be Real-istic

Alright, I am not going to beat around the bush on this one. When a person falls for someone it’s like they turn into a completely different person. They will do some of the dumbest stuff they have ever done. They will accept things from this person that they would never accept from anyone else. They will even give up some of their morals for this person. All this, just because we like someone.

There comes a point when you have to stop and be real with yourself. Is it really okay for you to give up so much for this person? I understand making sacrifices for a person in order to have a relationship, but at the end of the day you can’t lose yourself. You also have to look and see how much this person is giving up for you. If they are telling you you can’t do a, b and c but they refuse to make compromises or sacrifices then you have to take off your love goggles and stand up for yourself.

Love goggles. It’s a real and dangerous thing. When we’re in love we find it so hard to see all the wrong that our significant other does to us. They can do no wrong in our eyes. This is a slippery slope to a very unhealthy relationship.

Ways to ensure your love goggles are not impairing your judgement:

1. Ask your friends for their honest opinion

Your friends are your best ally in this situation. They know you the best and they always know when you’re doing something wrong but sometimes they are too scared to speak up. You first have to mentally prepare yourself to be able to accept whatever your friends say and then ensure your friends that you’re ready and will not hold anything they say against them.

2. After you get in a fight with your significant other, ask how you would handle it if it were someone else.

Fights happen in all types of relationships but when they happen with someone we have feelings for it’s sometimes harder to stay mad at them. Here’s something to remember: What you accept you will get more of. This means if you are constantly letting them get away with stuff, then their respect for you is going to start to diminish. When a person knows they can walk all over you, that is exactly what they will do.

3. Don’t continue to fight for someone who is fighting for you.

I know this is easier said than done but BE REALISTIC. If a person is not actively trying to hold onto the relationship and you’re doing all the work, you’re wasting your energy. This is dangerous too because then we begin to give people credit where credit is not due. You shouldn’t give someone credit for texting you back or calling you first. Those are things that are expected of a person in relationship. Make them work and put in just as much effort as you do. It makes the relationship more fun and eliminates the feeling that you’re doing more than the other person.

If your significant other isn’t willing to put in the work then you know that is time to let go.

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