Back to School!

It’s been a little while since I’ve posted. Trying to get back into the swing of things at school! Hopefully the first couple days of school have gone well for everyone. Now that we all have our syllabi, use this time to fill in all of your important dates. If you don’t write it down now, it’ll sneak up on you. Remember all the things you want to accomplish this semester and push yourself to reach those goals! Also, it may seem early but this is a great time to start looking at internships for the winter or the spring. The earlier the better. Okay, enough lecturing from me!

 

Check out my first post for CollegeFashionista.com!

xolivia

High School Not So Sweetheart

High school is all about trying to fit in. Even the people who try to be different are all the same type of different. College is more of a time to find and individualize yourself. It is less about fitting in and more about finding the people who you get along with. College changes you. So how are you supposed to maintain a relationship you began in high school when college makes you a different person? It’s definitely easier when you both are at the same school changing together, but when long distance comes into the picture the situation gets a little messy. I am not saying it’s impossible I am just saying it’s a tough position to be in. You are obviously still in love with this person but the relationship can get a little dry. It becomes the same old routine you have been doing for the past four years. College is not the time to act like a married person! So you have a couple options:

1. Spice it up!

Add some excitement to your relationship. Make a list of things you both want to do with each other. Things you have never done before. You’re at an age where the possibilities are endless. You have holiday breaks to go on adventures if you’re long distance or weekends to do something a little less extravagant if you ended up at the same school.

2. Take a break!

This idea can seem a little scary to people. A break in some circumstances means the relationship is over. It doesn’t have to though! Like I said before, college is a time to find yourself and sometimes holding onto someone from the past prevents you from doing that. Especially if they aren’t trying to grow. If you can spend some time apart to grow and then after some time know that this is the person you really want to be with then at least you never have to wonder what you missed out on. If you don’t try it now you will always wonder what if.

3. Talk it out!

This may seem silly but some people are too scared to talk about it. You never know if your significant other is feeling the same way. Lack of communication is the worst thing for a relationship so see where your significant other is because I am sure they are having similar thoughts they just don’t know how to bring it up without hurting your feelings.

4. Let it go!

If you have tried all of this and exhausted all of your options you are almost left with no choice but to let it go. It’s tough to end  a relationship when nothing is technically wrong but you have to remember that nothing is right either. Most likely you have both changed from the person you were when you first began your relationship. It’s better to let it go and try to maintain a friendship eventually than to drag it on and end up resenting each other.

It’s a tough situation but you have to do what’s best for yourself. I’m not saying it’s impossible but it will definitely take some work!

xolivia

The Challenge

I am not giving up on my previous post. Let me clarify something. I don’t think women should hold sex above a mans head in order for them to do what we want. Instead by not immediately giving it up you’re showing that you’re looking for something more. If he’s willing to stick around then great, but if not then you saved yourself some time. The mindset many women have is if I give this guy what he wants, maybe he will stay with me. Absolutely not.

I am not saying we all need to be conservative nuns but you can’t completely ruin the mystery. The fun of getting in a relationship is the mystery and the chase. Think of a book. If you’re told the ending, what incentive do you have to read the whole thing? None. No one likes something long term if it was easy.

Honestly, all I am asking is for you to take yourself seriously because if you don’t no one will. I want to believe that it has gotten to this point because of ignorance so here I am educating you. No it is not okay to have sex with a guy you’ve known for less than 24 hours. If you are truly looking for a relationship, wait. If not, still wait.

I’m not anti-sex, I am just anti being stupid. Guys have always thought about one thing, the only difference was before it wasn’t so easy to get. Let’s not make it easy . I hope you all are up to the challenge.

xolivia

A Challenge for Females

I’m about to be brutally honest. This is not a blanket statement for all men, but I will say it applies to a good portion. We give them too much credit. A guy texting you first is no reason to celebrate. Think about how much effort it takes to send a text. Unless they are driving, close to none. Yes, it is nice to know they were thinking about you but no that is not a reason to reward them. We make it way too easy for them.

Back in the day, guys had to jump over hurdles to get a girls attention. Now, all they have to do is say “hi” and girls are ready to take off their clothes. What happened to standards? Guys have no desire to be in a relationship because they can put in a fifth of the effort and still get the goods. How do we stop this? Stop making it so easy for them. Make them work for even a date. That is another issue I have. What happened to dates? Now, a guy says “oh, do you want to come over?” They’ll entertain you for a little while. Maybe watch a movie, but at the end of the night they expect you to give them something and if not? You are a bluff.

I don’t completely blame guys though. If they can get it with little effort, that’s exactly what they are going to do. I blame girls because we are the ones giving it to them! Then we turn around and say all men are the same and they only want one thing. That’s the only thing you’re giving them. Give them a challenge and they’ll take the challenge. I am challenging females to raise their standards, keep their clothes on and make guys work for the goods.

xolivia