3 of the Most Attractive Characteristics

The feeling of falling for someone is like none other. It takes a lot to bring you down from that high, but eventually you do. Once you’re down. you start noticing different things about that person. Sometimes it even feels like they are a completely different person than who you fell for. From my experience, you have to take first impressions with a grain of salt. When you first meet someone, you are generally putting the best “you” forward. After time, that sheds and you start to show your true colors. As for me, I’m an extremely sarcastic person. When  I first meet someone, I tone it down just to get a feel for the person and then once I am comfortable I treat them the way I treat all of my other friends. In terms of a relationship, once emotions get involved people really change. So what are 3 attractive characteristics that seem to disappear once emotions get involved?

1. Confidence

Confidence is sexy. When a person exudes confidence, we want to get closer to them. Once you get to know them better, you start to see cracks in the confidence. Self-deprecation is seriously the least sexy thing. Perfect example is Hannah from the HBO series Girls. She is constantly questioning her looks and wanting reassurance that guys find her attractive. That’s an instant turn off for a guys and girls. While it is nice to hear someone say that they find you beautiful, you need to know you’re beautiful first.

2. Independence

In a strong relationship you should be able to depend on the other person. However, when emotions get involved people become too dependent. They start feeling like they need the other person to survive. The worst thing you can do is tell another person that you need them and without them you would be nothing. In a way it’s flattering, but more likely they will be terrified and want nothing to do with you.

3. Self-Respect

This is huge. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again. What you accept, you will get more of. If you hook up with a person the first time you hang out, they look at you differently. Whether you care or not, that’s up to you. Nobody wants what they can have. It’s not about taunting them or teasing someone. While that can be fun, it’s truly about having your expectations met. If you expect a guy or girl to treat you with respect, the first time they disrespect you you have to let them know you will not accept that. If a guy calls you a bitch and you laugh it off, the names he will call you will only get worse because he knows he can get away with it.

What all of this boils down to is having expectations and not settling for less. Now before you go off and make a list of criteria including a six-figure salary, remember you have to be reasonable. It’s as simple as you expect them to respect you. That’s only one side though. You also need to set expectations for yourself. Don’t settle. That’s sexy.

xolivia

 

 

PSA: ATBO 2.0

I am excited to announce a revamping of As Told By Olivia. My goal for this site is to help its readers in all aspects of life. Whether that be with relationship problems, money problems or just keeping you updated with what’s going on in this crazy world, ATBO is here to help. “What does ATBO 2.0 entail,” you ask? Here’s a run down:

Monday: Pinspiration

Monday is the perfect day to get inspired. This will be a post the best pins we compile on a different topic each week. This includes fashion, travel, food, fitness, DIY, etc.

Tuesday: Music

Tuesday will feature some musician or artist that is doing cool shit. Everyone needs a little entertainment to get through the week.

Wednesday: Advice

Just to give you a little push to finish out the week, on Wednesday I’ll be giving you some advice on different aspects of your life. Topics will range from relationships, work, school and just life overall. Just a reminder that you can do it (whatever “it” is)!

Thursday: Money

This column is a little selfish because I absolutely suck when it comes to money. It can seem really daunting when you know nothing. Thursdays I’ll be covering some money related topic just in time for pay day.

Friday: Things You Should Know

Keeping up with news can be annoying so I will be making it a little easier on you by giving you a little rundown of what happened the past week. You’re welcome.

So that’s what we have coming up. I hope you are looking forward for what we have in store. An advice post will be going up a little later! Happy Hump Day!

Whiskey Saved My Soul

I have a feeling I am late in the game, but I just recently stumbled upon Thought Catalog and, as with most things, I am obsessed. I am sure I’ve landed on the site before. But this time was different. I guess it was the post I was reading initially, but I stayed on the site and decided to click around.

It basically embodies the type of writing that I want to pursue and the impact the posts have on me is the impact I want to have on other people. As I was scrolling back through the pages, one post in particular struck a cord with me. It was called “Tears Are Whiskey For The Soul.” I started reading it in the WordPress app on my phone, but the post is so long that I had to switch to my computer. Most times I can barely stay focused on the first paragraph of a piece, but this one had me hooked.

Thinking about it, the reason I have fallen in love Thought Catalog so quickly is because the posts are real. There is no telling you that everything is going to be okay. There are no fairytales or rainbows. It’s every day people facing the same struggle that you and I do on a daily basis. And in that struggle, these posts give you hope and guidance. It gives you a reminder that you’re not alone.

For me personally, the best feeling is talking to someone who actually understands what you are going through. Instead of looking in from the outside and judging you, they are right there with you empathizing with your pain and suffering.

While there is empathy, at the same time there is a a no-nonsense attitude. The same way these posts show you that you are not alone, they also make you question what makes your problems more significant than everyone else’s? If everyone is struggling, is it really struggling or is it just living? It’s like after every time there is some type of tragedy, we take second to stop and realize how blessed we truly are and realize what is important. Then we go back to the daily grind.

For me, this site has been my tragedy in the best way possible. Every time I start to feel melodramatic or start sounding like “woe is me”, these posts give me perspective. I can’t promise you will have the same reaction. I can’t vouch for everything posted. But I can say I’m sure anyone can find a post they can relate to. And you know you’re bored anyway so it’s something to fill the time at least.

 

And oh yeah, I’m back.

 

xolivia

Motivational Monday

Happy Monday everyone! Yes, Mondays tend to be the worst day of the week, but they set the tone for the next couple of days so at least end this day on the right note in order to have a painless week.

Envy is a dangerous thing. Always wanting things that other people have can be a double-edged sword. On the one hand it can motivate you to work harder to achieve the same success that another person has. On the other hand, you can start to feel like “it’s not fair” for that person to be better off than you. I know you have heard this before and you are about to hear it again: life is not fair. Despite what Disney led us to believe during the first decade or so of our lives, there is no such thing as complete fairness. Once you fail enough times in your life, you will begin to let that idea go.

Here is the thing, that person you are envious of is most likely envious of some other person, or even you. Looks are deceiving. Just because someone “looks” like they have everything a person could want, that is probably not the case. I am sure if you asked them, they could tell you five things off the top of their head that they wish they had. Nobody is ever satisfied with what they have and that is good because that means you should always be working towards something.

Do not let your envy of another person allow you to feel bad for yourself. That is time wasted. You could be using that time to better yourself, sharpen your skills, expand your mind or even learn something. Think of ways you can do that this week and get it done!

xolivia

Grade Yourself

Think of this as your mid-semester report. Remember the goals you had set for yourself before school started and all of the things that you wanted to accomplish? We are now two months into the semester and there are only two months left. Use this time to grade yourself. Have you been going to the gym as much as you wanted? Have you been eating as healthily as you had planned? Are your grades where they need to be in order to achieve the GPA you planned? If you aren’t where you want to be, make an action plan to get there. If your grades have dropped to C’s, check your syllabi for how many assignments you have left and how well you need to do on all of them to get that final grade up. If you have lost your motivation to stay in shape, make a new board on Pinterest, take notes on all of the pins you find and then make a weekly plan for how you’re going to make it a reality. it’s okay if you lost track of your goals for the semester if you make the effort to work harder to make it happen. In a couple of months you will be starting to think of new year resolutions and you don’t want them to be the same ones that you make every year. Finish off the year strong so you can accomplish new things next year. Take it a day at a time!

xolivia

Until It’s Gone

I can’t get over what a busy month October has been and how fast it has gone by, which is actually the perfect way to get into the topic of this post. You never know what you’ve got until it’s gone. And then when it’s gone all you can do is reminisce on all of the great things and how you took them for granted.

How about this: enjoy it while you have it. Lately I’ve noticed everyone freaking out about something while it’s happening instead of being in the moment. It’s almost impossible to enjoy something if you’re questioning every second. I’ll put it into perspective with a real life example.

Ladies: So you are texting this guy that you really like and it’s new so you’re excited. Instead of freaking out every time he texts you and asking your friends what to say, enjoy the conversation. If he says something that throws you off, keep it going. Trust me, he’s not wording things a certain way to send you mixed messages..he’s sending a text while probably not paying attention.

Another one: You are trying to get over someone (and you’re past the rebound state) and you spend all your time complaining to your friends how you want a new guy to talk to and blahblahblah. Then, a new guy starts pursuing you. Instead of instantly coming up with five things that are “wrong” with him, see where it goes! Unless you are 100% not interested, give it a chance. You have absolutely nothing to lose.

All I am saying is, don’t let a good thing pass without appreciating it while it’s great. That’ll make after it ends (hopefully it doesn’t) a lot easier to handle because you won’t have to deal with regretting the things you should’ve done or said. Hindsight is 20/20 but in the moment can be pretty clear too if you make the effort.

Rejection

Rejection can be scary but fear of rejection leads to missed opportunities.

Last night right before I went to sleep I was thinking about an opportunity that I completely let slip through my fingers. What stopped me? The fear of rejection. I was too scared to swallow my pride and take a risk. The only thing that’s left me with is a bunch of regret. You never know until you try, right? At the end of the day you can say at least I put myself out there. So next time you’re faced with the possibility of rejection take a leap of faith. If it works out in your favor then good for you but if not that only makes you stronger. Then, next time it won’t hurt as bad.

xolivia