The feeling of falling for someone is like none other. It takes a lot to bring you down from that high, but eventually you do. Once you’re down. you start noticing different things about that person. Sometimes it even feels like they are a completely different person than who you fell for. From my experience, you have to take first impressions with a grain of salt. When you first meet someone, you are generally putting the best “you” forward. After time, that sheds and you start to show your true colors. As for me, I’m an extremely sarcastic person. When I first meet someone, I tone it down just to get a feel for the person and then once I am comfortable I treat them the way I treat all of my other friends. In terms of a relationship, once emotions get involved people really change. So what are 3 attractive characteristics that seem to disappear once emotions get involved?
Confidence is sexy. When a person exudes confidence, we want to get closer to them. Once you get to know them better, you start to see cracks in the confidence. Self-deprecation is seriously the least sexy thing. Perfect example is Hannah from the HBO series Girls. She is constantly questioning her looks and wanting reassurance that guys find her attractive. That’s an instant turn off for a guys and girls. While it is nice to hear someone say that they find you beautiful, you need to know you’re beautiful first.
In a strong relationship you should be able to depend on the other person. However, when emotions get involved people become too dependent. They start feeling like they need the other person to survive. The worst thing you can do is tell another person that you need them and without them you would be nothing. In a way it’s flattering, but more likely they will be terrified and want nothing to do with you.
This is huge. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again. What you accept, you will get more of. If you hook up with a person the first time you hang out, they look at you differently. Whether you care or not, that’s up to you. Nobody wants what they can have. It’s not about taunting them or teasing someone. While that can be fun, it’s truly about having your expectations met. If you expect a guy or girl to treat you with respect, the first time they disrespect you you have to let them know you will not accept that. If a guy calls you a bitch and you laugh it off, the names he will call you will only get worse because he knows he can get away with it.
What all of this boils down to is having expectations and not settling for less. Now before you go off and make a list of criteria including a six-figure salary, remember you have to be reasonable. It’s as simple as you expect them to respect you. That’s only one side though. You also need to set expectations for yourself. Don’t settle. That’s sexy.